It exists: a dress for a teenager who prefers Frank Sinatra over Taylor Swift.

At about midnight last night, I came across my--yes, MY prom dress. Infatuation at first sight, I am positive.

I knew I wanted a red dress.
I couldn't admit it.
Red dress that's not hoochie?
Not gonna happen.
Until...

Oh, Unique Vintage, I always knew my prom dress would come from you! The very title oozes my very existance: 1930s Leading Lady. HELLO?! It is a sign from God. I figured out with close inspection it's chiffon not that god-awful jersey crapola. Jewels everywhere! I think I might even change the back to make a "V" shape. But oh, oh! How I worship thee, Unique Vintage, at my $152 dollar find!

$152?!?!?!?

Teenage sewer say wut? That's right. I saved at least $150 dollars. No need to call me "your Highness" or anything, now!

Where dost this red dress fetish come from? I will show you:

My original obsession: Satine's dress in Moulin Rouge, probably my second favorite movie ever.

Oh, Audrey! Pale people really do look good in red!

Green yes, but this fuels this diseased girl for her love of all-things-backless. So much more scandalous than low cut tops. Seriously.

And some art: the last one is so perfect for a dance, hmm?

I know. I must be stopped. But I'm so excited!